Pleasant Interruptions
by KBecks87
Summary: Something about her blue eyes and her self-conscious smile pulls him in - even though she represents everything that he hates. Is supposed to hate, maybe. Now complete.
1. Foundation

A/N: this fic is entirely done, save editing, so I will be posting a chapter a week until it is all up. Hope you enjoy!  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything you'd want.

Summary: Something about her blue eyes and self-conscious smiles pulls him in - even though she represents everything that he hates, everything that he can never provide for Octavia. A modern AU.

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Chapter One: Foundation

"I never would have forgiven you if I knew it meant I had to come to these things again" she whispers under her breath, just loud enough for him to hear, while she picks at her dress. He lets out a bark of laughter before he can stop himself and everyone turns to look at them, champagne glasses still raised, from the toast they've interrupted. Wells throws up an apologetic hand and Clarke offers a smile to the crowd who slowly turn back to face Marcus Kane who continues his speech with an eye on them. When it's over Clarke and Wells clink their glasses of champagne together dramatically and down them before Wells shoves Clarke playfully in retaliation. She's wearing heels that are much too tall for her and she's off balance for just a moment, but it's long enough for her to stumble about half-a-foot backwards and into a waiter who is passing behind them. She doesn't crash into him or anything as dramatic as that, but she bumps his arm with her back while he's balancing a tray of drinks. She spins around, apologizing several times, but he just compensates for her lack of balance with the tray he's holding – the drinks not even teetering, Clarke notices, impressed – and nods at her. He's clearly not amused by her, but wouldn't be allowed to do anything but nod back at her. He walks away and Clarke spins back on Wells, smacking his arm, "Thanks" she says, sarcasm and incredulity in her voice. Wells laughs, holding his hands up in a surrendering gesture as she rolls her eyes.

Clarke glances up at the screen on the wall of the dining room, 'The Crystal Room' the script above the door reminds her, and sees a picture of Wells and Cynthia Jaha from years ago. She closes her eyes against the memory of who Cynthia was before she was just a picture on the wall, encouraging people to donate and pulls in a deep breath. She'd loved Wells' mother and Cynthia had treated Clarke like her own until the cancer finally won out in the end. She and Wells were so young when it happened, they'd clung to each other at the funeral, promising to be Best Friends Forever. But, she hasn't been at one of these events in years, having been convinced that her best friend had been responsible for her father's ousting at Wells' dad's business. She holds her hand against the watch on her wrist, painfully out of place in a room of sparkling shoes and perfect hair. Wells must notice, because he leans over and pinches her bicep lightly, bringing her back to reality.

Sometimes it's hard for Clarke to believe that she only knows Wells because of their parents, that there is a world where they could have lived their whole lives as strangers. To hear her father tell it, the three of them came up together, their parents having been close as well. Jake went on to become an electromechanical engineer, while Abby became a world-renowned surgeon, based out of the hospital just on the other side of town, but often flying to where her expertise are required, while Thelonious founded Camp Jaha Investments in New York City, a hedge fund company that Clarke doesn't fully understand and Wells only knows enough about to know he didn't want to take it over one day but probably will anyway. Even though Abby and Jake had their own careers, they both served on the board of Camp Jaha Investments, Abby still does.

 _Clarke is clutching her college acceptance letters in one hand and her keys in the other as she runs down the stairs. She's already late meeting Wells and_ needs _to know if they got into all the same schools. She's on the last stair when she hears her parents talking, it feels important so even though it's something she's never done, she flattens herself out against the wall and listens. She can't hear everything, but she understands the gist. At first, Jake thought he found a mistake in the books of Camp Jaha Investments, but further review told him that he found an intentional discrepancy; the funneling of millions of dollars of money people donated to the Camp Jaha charity that sends kids to summer camp directly into the bottom line (and therefor bonuses) of a handful of board members. The silence that follows the information tells Jake and Clarke that Abby already knew this. It's a blur while Abby tries to explain to her husband that it's all for a greater good, that the charity will get its money and that it isn't a shell – there is a complicated explanation that Clarke doesn't understand and Jake doesn't seem to believe. Abby walks away, refusing to have the fight and Clarke makes it a point to make some noise on the stairs to announce her presence and kisses Jake's cheek before going out to her car and going to meet Wells. She tells him what she heard in-between tearing open envelopes and makes him promise, no swear, not to tell anyone. He links his pinky with hers and swears._

Clarke laughs dutifully at something that a woman who has made her way over to her and Wells says and nods, even though she's not sure what she's nodding along to. After the woman leaves, Wells spots Sasha on the other side of the room, a girl he's had a crush on since Middle School. He turns to look at Clarke, but she puts her hand on his elbow, "I'm going to get some air, you go" she shoves him in Sasha's direction lightly and he trips over his feet a little, waving a hand behind him at Clarke's laugh as he crosses the room. There is a Smokers Patio attached to the Crystal Room, and Clarke thinks it'll be too cold for anyone to be using so when she steps on to it, she's surprised to find Kane and Thelonious talking. She's muttering an apology for the interruption when she sees a staircase and crosses to it. She has one hand on the railing and one bunching up her dress so that she won't trip over it on the stairs when Thelonious' voice stops her 'We could start a foundation for your father, if that's something you'd be interested in' he says it soft and slow like he's trying not to spoke her. She doesn't even turn around to face him, just starts on the stairs. She hears him sigh behind her and she just moves faster, tears gathering in her eyes making it hard to keep them open.

She makes it down the stairs and drops her bunched up dress so she can wipe at her eyes a little, she feels silly and childish, but then she walks straight into someone and feels stupid too. She drops her hand from her face and comes face-to-face with the waiter she's bumped earlier in her fun with Wells. "Sorry" she says, then realization dawns on her face, "wow…again…I have walked before I swear" he nods a little and she half smiles, hoping he will too. He doesn't. She clears her throat, they're behind the building in an area really only used when an outdoor event is happening – there is a fountain bubbling next to them, riddled with pennies, and a path to the pavilion next to that. She clears her throat a little, "I didn't think anyone would be down here" she says finally, conversationally.

"Yeah, me either" he answers offhandedly and she nods a little. She feels like an intruder.

She opens and closes her mouth a few times, trying to figure out what to say, but in the end, she half shrugs, "I can go…" she offers quietly "I just didn't want…I just needed a minute" she feels obligated to explain herself even though she's not sure why.

He barks out a laugh, despite himself, "No" he runs a hand down his face, looking over at her for the first time, "No, Princess, you stay. My break is about up anyway". She narrows her eyes at the nick name, but nods all the same, her hair is braided intricately around the crown of her head with flowers woven into it, she probably does look like a princess even if she doesn't feel like it. He glances down at his watch and nods to himself, then seems to notice her dress "You're going to freeze" he says it conversationally, like he's not concerned as much as he's just informing her. She laughs a little, despite herself and mumbles a 'maybe' before he looks at his watch again, "I'll see you in there" he says, turning. She can feel the annoyance he must have for everyone at this event as he starts up the steps.

"Wait" she says, taking a few steps towards him. He stops, turns slowly like he's still deciding if he should, "What's your name?"

He hesitates for a moment, "Bellamy" he says, watching her.

"I'm Clarke" she answers, not sure that he cares. He nods, once, before he turns to go back inside.

 _Clarke spends most of her last pre-collegiate summer waiting for what her dad found to come back up. She starts to wonder if she imagined the whole thing because nothing changes at all. Finally, about a week before she is meant to leave for school, she corners her father in his study and asks him. He's shocked that she heard and she apologizes for eavesdropping in a stutter. Jake puts his hand on her shoulder and tells her that he needs proof, that he can't just accuse the board of something that big without it. And he makes her promise to stay out of it. She only ever talks about it with Wells._

 _In the end, they don't go to school together, Clarke can't stay at home and Wells can't leave. When she gets to college, they unload all her stuff into the flat she's rented. Clarke decided to go to the Imperial College in London, they have a great medicine program and she thought it was the only place she could grow up at all without her parents smothering her._

 _She's been in London less than a fortnight and she's in her room, pouring over a course catalogue, BBC News playing in the background. She's not really paying attention to the news, but hearing 'Jake Griffin' pulls her attention. The news program talks about a snafu at Camp Jaha Investments and the ousting of a founding board member and she grabs her phone from the table next to her. He doesn't even get his 'hey, can't decide on your classes' out before she's yelling, "Did you do this? How could you do this?" she has to explain what she's talking about to him, and it only serves to make her angrier. He sputters, talks in fits and starts trying to tell her how sorry he is, but she's not interested in his apologies. "Wells, why would you do this? I trusted you" she almost whispers and she hears him sigh, can practically see the way his eyes flit around when he's trying to think. He pulls in a deep breath and she holds her, she hears 'I don't know Clarke, I thought my dad would help, talk to him, I didn't think…' and she snaps her phone shut, burying her face in her hands. He calls her every Monday and Friday, she never answers._

When she goes back inside, she finds Wells in the crowd and raises her hand in a wave. He nods and smiles a bit, she's fulfilled her best friend duties by being here and she smiles back before turning to leave. She passes by Bellamy who is coming out of the kitchen with a carafe of water and smiles, "see you around" he nods a little in response, looks kind of surprised to be spoken to, and she goes to the coat check and then to Wells' house. Though she's probably technically still lives with her mother, she's not there much, she finds it hard to be – they'd never been close, but after her father's death they found it difficult to find any common ground at all.

 _Twelve days before the end of her second term at university she walks out of her OChem study group and checks her phone. Missed calls from Wells: 8; Unread texts from Wells: 19; Missed calls from Mom (doctor emoji): 3. All of them are some variation of 'call me, it's important', she walks back to her Flat before she calls her mother._

 _She packs a bag and flies into New York City that night, she spends the nine-hour flight with 'Clarke, your father is dead' playing on an endless loop in her brain. She emails her professors during the flight and arranges take-at-home finals she's not sure she'll ever actually take. Wells is standing in her families drive way when they pull up to the house and he looks at her tentatively when she gets out of the car and walks up to him. "I don't ever want to talk to you, stay away from me" she says, starting out low and sad but screaming by the end. She can hear Wells, 'Clarke, please' and 'I'm sorry' but it doesn't help and she doesn't care what he has to say, so she takes the steps to her room two at a time and doesn't come out until the funeral (Wells' is there, of course, watches her fall apart in her stoic mother's arms, watchers her apologize to her mother over and over, watches from the other side of the casket while Clarke never ever looks at him)._

Wells gets home a few hours later to find Clarke in sweat pants watching Netflix. "No Sasha?" she asks, throwing a Cheese Puff at him. He scoffs, mumbles a 'yeah right', picks the Cheese Puff off his suite jacket and pops it in his mouth. Clarke rolls her eyes, apparently, they've been doing this the whole time they've been at NYU, this _almost_ thing – Clarke thinks it's crazy, had told him once that had she been around, it never would have been let to stand, and they'd laughed awkwardly, remembering why she wasn't around, before Wells shrugged and mumbled 'yeah whatever' at her, his cheeks tinging a little pink.

 _Her father has been dead for four months. It doesn't seem real, no matter what she does. She tried to go back to school but she couldn't focus at all and was failing basically all of her classes, so when they offered her a break from classes, an intermission, she took it. She packed the things she wanted, sold her car, donated the rest and flew home. Her mother was steadfastly against the idea, but convinced herself that it would only be a term, maybe two, and she would go back…or maybe go to Johns Hopkins like she wanted all along. She sits at the chair in his study, looking at the photograph of the two of them at the Zoo in the city taken when she was four or five and cries, pushing papers around on his desk that_ he'll never get to finish working on _. That's when she sees the ledger and his words ring around in her mind 'I need proof'. She thinks about how he'd called her and said things might change the week before he died, thinks about how he needed proof, thinks about a car T-Boning him on the highway in perfect weather. She looks through the papers, but doesn't know enough about it to know what it means. She keeps all of it, but tells her mom that if she doesn't find a way to get everyone their money back she'll give it to a reporter. The Board 'finds' the discrepancy and refunds the people who donated the next week. It hits her then, that Wells wasn't the only one who could have told his father about Jake's findings – she just never thought that her mother could be capable of turning on her husband like that. At her darkest, she's pretty sure that Thelonious_ _was involved in her father's death somehow and she feels a pit form in her stomach at the fact that very little happens with Thelonious_ _that her mother is not involved in._

 _She packs a backpack and shows up at his apartment, a few blocks from NYU and cries when he opens the door. She knew Wells would accept her apology, he was too good of a person not to, but she never dared hope that their relationship would just fall back into place like it did. Slowly, she moved everything she cared about into his spare bedroom and she could be found there most nights, now._

* * *

Around ten the next morning, she gets a text from Raven 'Coffee Grounders, nowish?' and groans a little, pulling herself in a sitting position and pausing Netflix. 'I need 20' she texts back, going to take a shower and change into jeans a sweater before leaving. She passes her car in the driveway in favor of walking, she'd gotten used to it in London (though she had a car there, she only drove a handful of times) and now preferred it.

 _About halfway through her first term at school she meets a boy named Finn. He actually goes to NYU, but is 'doing the semester abroad thing'. He's nice and he's sweet and he's charming and he makes her feel like she could be light and things could be easy, if she'd only just let them. It feels like a whirlwind to her, the type of romance she felt like she'd never have, so when he presses butterfly kisses to her shoulder and tells her that she's beautiful, it's easy to let him._

 _Until, in the last week of the term, his actual girlfriend shows up. They're at his flat, drinking tea at the island when someone knocks at the door. Finn answers it and a pretty girl with tanned skin and dark hair throws herself into Finn, kissing him soundly. Clarke makes a sound from the back of her throat as the pieces come together. She's up and gathering her things when the girl giggles and sees her over Finn's shoulder, "Oh, sorry, didn't see you" she sticks out her hand for Clarke to shake, "Are you one of the roommates? I'm the girlfriend" Clarke shakes her hand, not knowing what else to do and sputters for words._

 _Finn jumbles over himself, introducing them to each other, and Raven takes a half step back watching the exchange. It all comes together pretty quickly after that. She's angry, obviously, and though she looks at Clarke incredulously "You didn't know he had a girlfriend?" she says it like she needs confirmation (Clarke shakes her head violently, 'no, I swear') and she directs her anger at Finn. On her way out she hears them talking and thinks that Raven is going to give Finn another chance, but she leaves her phone number on top of Raven's luggage anyway, with the note 'in case you need a friend'. Four days later Raven comes to her place to stay for the last few days of her visit and Clarke takes her sightseeing._

When she gets to Coffee Grounders, Raven is already outside at a table, two cups in front of her. Clarke picks hers up as she sits and Raven looks up at her with a smile. They talk easily, about everything except Finn and that is how their relationship works best. "Hey, what are you doing tonight?" Raven asks all the sudden, her excitement going up a notch, staring at her phone.

"…why?" Clarke asks wary of her excitement.

"Okay, good" Raven says taking her answer to mean that she's free.

"No set ups" Clarke warns, serious.

Raven nods, "Promise" before sending a text, "Octavia wants to go to that bar in the city tonight, Polis, wants to introduce Atom around to try to get them past that fight" Raven makes a face and Clarke shrugs. "Annnnnd we have to keep Atom safe from her brother, who I guess is going to be working". She's met Octavia a few times, the girl is in her last year of high school, but met Raven at the Community College where Raven takes some of her core component classes, since she can't afford to take all her classes at NYU's prices and Octavia takes college courses sponsored by her high school. But, it's mostly been in passing – Clarke shows up to meet Raven and Octavia is just leaving to get to work, that kind of thing, so she wouldn't say that she knows her well. Raven seems to like her though, and that counts for a lot with Clarke.

* * *

Atom doesn't show. He and Octavia had fought the week before when Atom started a fight with someone Octavia didn't know at Polis and Octavia's brother told him to 'leave Octavia the fuck alone' – Octavia had told her brother to 'stay out of her shit' and Atom told her that he didn't care what her brother said, but then he started ghosting her after that. When Clarke gets to the bar, she sees Jasper and Monty next to piles of Raven and Octavia's things and she hardly has her jacket off before Monty points to the bathroom and Jasper whispers, "Mom, go take care of it". Monty and Jasper have, apparently, known Octavia for years and became friends with Raven last year. She's hung out with them, through Raven, a few times and Jasper started calling her 'mom' when it became apparent that she has a tendency to take care of the people around her.

"Take care of what?" she asks confused then remembers herself, "And don't call me mom" she glares at Jasper who just laughs. They tell her that they don't know what's going on but that it looks like tears were shed, she sighs when she pushes back from the table.

She goes to the bar to get a water and when the bartender turns around she's left staring at him with her lips parted for a long moment before she breaths out, "Bellamy".

He looks at her for a long moment, and she's sure that he forgot about her until "You're a long way from home, princess" and she shrugs a little. It takes her a moment to remember why she's there but when she does she kind of just blurts out that she needs a water and shakes her head at herself when he turns to get it. He hands a bottle of water over and their fingers brush when she takes it and she looks up at him from under her lashes to see if it was intentional, but can't tell anyway.

* * *

Octavia, Raven, and Clarke sit on the disgusting bathroom floor and talk about how stupid Atom is for a solid twenty minutes while Octavia drinks the water and Raven fixes the leak under the sink, because the sound of water dripping into the bucket under the pipe was driving her crazy. They come out a little later, the only sign of Octavia's tears is the slight puffiness to her eyes under her reapplied make up. Bellamy catches her arm as they pass the bar and Clarke watches them talk while she helps Raven and the boys move their stuff to the bar so they can talk to Octavia's brother. When Octavia comes and sits between Clarke and Raven, Bellamy watches her carefully, his eyes shifting between Clarke and Octavia several times like he's trying to figure something out. Octavia must interpret this as him wondering who Clarke is because she sits up a little, "Clarke, this is my brother Bellamy, Bellamy, Clarke, I met her through Raven" she explains gesturing between them. That's when it dawns on her that 'Octavia's brother' is Bellamy.

Clarke smiles at the same time Bellamy nods, "I know her" Bellamy says, it's short but it's not unkind. The other bartender, Miller, walks behind Bellamy and nods to Octavia who smiles brightly at him

Octavia keeps trying to get drinks from the bar, more out of how much fun she has enraging Bellamy than an actual desire to drink, and Bellamy spends all night stopping her, while Raven spends all night dramatically drinking her beer in front of Octavia and talking about how good it is. Jasper and Monty leave about a few hours after Clarke gets there; Monty is an environmental engineering major so 'I am obviously on the grounds keeping crew at the Ark' and has an early shift the next morning – Jasper is his ride. And Octavia is giving Raven a ride home and Bellamy reminds her several times that she has school in the morning, so they leave not long later. Clarke sits at the bar and Bellamy watches her expectantly, "You don't have someplace to be, Princess?"

She laughs, shakes her head, "Nope" pops the P and he shakes his head a little, curly hair falling in his face as the humidity in the bar pulls it forward and he hands her a drink. The bar closes at two, but except for a couple of guys in the far corner and Clarke, it has pretty much cleared out by one, so Bellamy and Miller start cleaning up. Bellamy is at the bar, picking up a bus tub to take to the back when he sees Clarke, she's wiping down tables and flipping chairs over onto them. He watches for a long moment, can't make himself stop, before he sets the bus tub down and walks out from behind the bar and to her.

He catches the chair she is in the middle of flipping and takes it from her, he sets it on the table and grabs her wrist lightly, "You know we're not going to pay you, right?" he asks, his voice light and teasing.

She smiles, "Really? I guess I'll go then…" she gestures to the door he smiles at her. She thinks it's the first real smile she's ever seen from him and she's a little transfixed by it, stares up at him until he clears his throat lightly.

"Seriously, stop working" he says it like a joke, leading her back to her seat at the bar by the small of her back. She leans into his hand a little until she sits back down.

He sets the bus tub to go through the dishwasher in the back and when he comes back out, she's wiping down the bar. He sighs, exaggerated and loud, and she just looks up at him and smiles. He rolls his eyes and she shrugs. The three of them leave the bar at 2:15, when they get outside, Miller turns to them, "Nice to meet you Clarke" he smiles at her and she smiles back, "later" he says to Bellamy, pulling his collar up around his neck and walking towards the city.

"You drive?" he asks her, looking around a little, for her car maybe. She shakes her head. "You hungry?" he tries another question and she nods.

"I could eat" she says and he walks her to the Buick he bought from his old neighbor when he was fifteen and had a not-at-all convincing fake ID. It's old and it's falling apart, but when he opens the passenger door for her she slides in.

He walks around and gets in the car, it takes a minute to start but she doesn't say anything when it revs a few times, he's grateful and he turns the heat on and it sputters for a moment before blowing hot air in their faces. He drives about ten minutes, outside of the city, to a dinner that stays open 24 hours. They have the best pancakes and good coffee and it's on his way home so he stops there a lot. He parks by the door and walks around the car to meet Clarke as she climbs out. They walk in and the girl working throws a "Hey Bellamy" over her shoulder as they settle in a booth. He nods back, but turns his attention to Clarke who picks up a menu from behind the napkin holder and studies it.

"Hey Roma" he says when the waitress sets coffees and waters in front of them. Roma asks Clarke what she'll have and Clarke orders blueberry pancakes and Roma smiles as she walks away.

Clarke turns to Bellamy, "You're not going to order?"

Bellamy pulls his hand through the hair at the nape of his neck, "I uh…I always get the same thing…I come here kind of a lot" he's a little self-conscious. She nods, puts the menu back behind the napkins and taps lightly on the linoleum table top. "You go to NYU?" he asks, remembering that Octavia said she knew Clarke though Raven.

Clarke's nose scrunches up a little, he smiles despite himself – it's cute (whatever) before she shakes her head, "I went to school in London for…not even a year, but…" she trails off and he nods even though he doesn't understand. "I don't really…I don't…I'm between stuff…" she stammers. She sounds pathetic in her own ears, her father left her everything that was in his name alone, so she doesn't have to work and hasn't found what she wants to do with her life or her time yet, and going back to London hasn't felt right so she's not in school.

Bellamy shrugs across the table and reaches over to touch the top of her hand lightly, "I get it". And she both knows he couldn't possibly and thinks he might when she cracks a smile.

* * *

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	2. Storms And Stories

Chapter Two: Storms and Stories

The next time Clarke is at the Ark, she finds herself glancing around in search of Bellamy. Wells calls her on it, having gotten the cliff notes version of their late-night pancakes when Bellamy dropped her off at home that night. She rolls her eyes, but is saved having to respond when there is a commotion up front, she smiles and claps as Finn's parents walk in the Crystal Room and fringe surprise at the room full of people gathered to celebrate their wedding anniversary. She knows she'll spend most of the rest of the night avoiding Finn, so she pops a hors d'oeuvre in her mouth and smiles at Wells. Finn's parents are among the largest contributors to the charity honoring Wells' mother, so she knows he has to come to these things, but she hates it. She sees Finn making his way in her general direction and puts her hand on Wells' arm, "Gotta run" she says, inclining her head towards Finn, Wells rolls his eyes when he nods, mumbles something about her being ridiculous that she can't quite make out.

 _Finn calls her constantly after Raven goes back to New York. He shows up at her place once, tells her that him and Raven are over, which Clarke knows is true (Raven tried to move past it with Finn, wanting to salvage their years-long relationship, but in the end felt like she wasn't being loved in the way she deserved, and broke things off with him) but isn't so terribly the point. He tells her that she's the one he wants and that she's the one for him, and she feels flattered by that (no one had ever looked at her that way before; she was too serious and too artsy and not pretty enough, so the attention is more flattering than she'd like to admit) but she feels used and lied to and betrayed and robbed of the right to make decisions for herself so she tells him to leave her alone with tears in her eyes. Even when he goes back to the states he calls her every so often and she adds his calls to the list of ones she doesn't pick up. When she comes back to New York following her father's death he sends flowers and waits a week and a half before he shows up on her doorstep. She always says no, but he always asks._

Clarke is in an alcove, looking at pictures on the wall of the Ark through the years, reading the little plaques under the photographs and painting that explain its evolution when she hears her father's name. Two women, she can't tell who, are standing on the other side of the wall of the alcove, probably leaning against it judging by how clear their voices come across, when one of them says 'That poor Jake Griffin and him family'. Clarke rolls her eyes, but can't help but listen. The other woman clicks her tongue a little, 'I wonder what he did to get ousted before his death' and the conversation goes on about how it was its his own fault he'd been removed from the board and he was probably having an affair and well, his kid went all the way to London to get away from him, and on and on and on. Clarke feels tears gather in her eyes and wishes she was the kind of strong that could go and confront them. Instead, she texts Wells that she's leaving and she's sorry and she'll explain later and waits until their voices fade before she leaves the alcove and the Crystal Room.

When she's in the hall, she keeps her head down and just wants to leave, but there are people everywhere and she's not sure how she can make it out without talking to anyone and she knows if she has to talk, she's going to cry. The last thing she wants is to cry in front of these people. She sees Finn on the other side of the hallway and closes her eyes, trying to think of an escape. She feels fingertips brush her elbow lightly behind her and she squeezes her eyes shut before she opens them, expecting to have to be polite to Finn, but it's Bellamy who's looking at her when her eyes open and she lets out a long, relieved breath. He must notice because, "You alright, Princess?" is the first thing he says. There's a teasing lilt to his voice, but concern lingering just below the surface.

She blows out a sad laugh and shrugs a little, her eyes are still watery and she thinks he must notice because there is no bite to his words and he's looking at her with concern now. She nods, "Yeah, I was just…I was looking for a place to hide" she admits, not quite meeting his eyes. He half-smiles at her and touches her elbow again, nodding down the hall and then turning so that she'll follow. As he turns, his hand slides down her arm to meet her hand and after a moment of indecision he laces his fingers through hers. She tenses for a moment, not sure how to react, before she lets herself be pulled by him, tightening her fingers around his a little.

He pulls her into the employee area. It's just a room with a few tables and chairs, lockers lining one wall, a calendar and a time clock on the other, a door to the outside and a door to the kitchen. He sets the bus tub of glasses he was running to the kitchen when he saw her on a table and turns to face her. She's still holding his hand, so he runs his thumb over her wrist and she looks up at him, her eyes still watery, blinking to try to pull her tears back in. She opens and closes her mouth a couple of times, trying to find words so he squeezes her hand gently, "I'm off in about an hour, if you want to wait. I have to pick O up from work, but I can take you home after". She looks up at him and nods, whispers a 'thank you' with a smile so grateful he can't believe it comes from something so simple as offering her a ride home.

He offers because she looks small and fragile and so, so sad. But, he's not quite sure why he cares. Something about her pulls him in and he can't figure out what or why. No one has ever had that effect on him before and it throws him off kilter in a way he wasn't expecting, in a way that scares him a little. He feels like he could get lost in Clarke, if he let himself, but he knows how dangerous that could be. He untangles his hand from hers and runs it back up her arm to squeeze just above her elbow lightly before he turns and picks the bus tub back up, taking it to the kitchen and handing it over to Jasper to put through the dishwasher.

* * *

He means to go back and check on her, but he gets busy with the party and doesn't make his way back to the employee room until his shift ends. When he pushes the door open though, she's not in there. He looks around, confused, and wonders if she decided not to wait after all. He hears a burst of laughter from the kitchen and goes in to see what is going on; Clarke is sitting on the counter top, mocking Jasper's dish-washing technique ('Clarke, I'm a professional' prompting the burst of laughter he'd heard) while Harper chops veggies for salads and tosses Clarke every fifth slice of cucumber to eat. She looks both completely out of place (fancy dress and heels that probably cost more than anyone in the kitchen makes in a year) and like she completely fits in (hair pulled into a low ponytail, eyes rolling at Jasper, handing Harper a stack of plates fresh from the dishwasher) and he feels something pull in his chest and can't help but smile.

He can tell the moment that she notices him leaning against the door frame; she looks down, her cheeks a little pink from her self-conscious nature, and tucks an errant piece of hair behind her ear. She hops down from the counter, her heels clacking on the tile of the kitchen floor, and crosses the room to him. She stops just in front of him and for reasons he can't explain, he can't help but reach out touch her arm lightly. She smiles up at him and he clears his throat lightly, "Ready to go?" he asks quietly. She nods and says a quick goodbye to Harper and Jasper before following Bellamy out. He clocks out and grabs his keys from his locker and she follows him closely. He holds his hand out behind himself when they start walking and she's a little hesitant when she takes it, but she does, wrapping her fingers around his and they walk out into the employee parking lot, sporadically lit by half burnt out lamps.

They're quiet on the car ride to pick Octavia up from The Drop Ship, the second-hand clothing shop where she works, but it's an easy, comfortable silence. When they pull up in front of the store, Octavia is outside; shifting from one foot to the other trying to stay warm and talking to a tall, bald guy that Bellamy doesn't recognize. The glow from the blue-green neon sign, an alien in a spaceship tossing clothes overboard, pitches them in a weird light. It takes a minute for Octavia to notice the car and while they wait Bellamy catalogues the guys tattoos and how much older he looks than his baby sister and he doesn't even realize that his fingers are tightening on the steering wheel until Clarke laughs lightly and points it out. He flexes his hand out pointedly and denies it even though he can feel the tightness in his fingers.

When Octavia notices the car, she says something to the guy she's with, pointing at the car then touching his arm. Bellamy rolls his eyes while Clarke laughs under her breath. Octavia notices Clarke as she gets closer to the car and her eyebrows furrow in confusion when she sees her, but she slips into the back seat easily, "Hey Clarke" she seems happy to see her and Clarke feels relief before she smiles and says hi back. Bellamy tells Octavia that they're going to drop Clarke off at her place real quick and Octavia sighs dramatically and shakes her head, "Come have dinner with us" Octavia says brightly. "I always cook on Sundays since we're both off on Monday"

" _You_ always cook?" Bellamy asks incredulously, a smirk playing at his lips.

"Yes" Octavia says drawing out the word, but it's not so believable since she laughs all the way through it. She shrugs and turns her attention back to Clarke, "What do you say?"

Clarke looks over at Bellamy, she doesn't want to intrude if he doesn't want her there, but he gives her a shrug so slight she almost misses it and a little bit of a nod and when Clarke turns in her seat to look at Octavia in the back she's all smiles and earnest invitation, and Clarke smiles a little to herself, having been worried that she'd been invited only because Octavia thought she should, but when she nods and whispers a "Yeah, sure" Octavia jumps a little in her seat and Clarke laughs a little while Bellamy rolls his eyes at his sister good-naturedly. They drive well out of the suburb where the Ark sits and farther out that Bellamy thinks Clarke would have ever had reason to go, but she doesn't say anything, just watches street lights pass in silence, listening to Octavia chatter in the back.

They park at the apartment complex and Octavia immediately announces that she has to pee and is out of the car and halfway up the staircase in the middle of the building before Clarke even processes it. Clarke laughs as she gets out of the car and Bellamy shakes his head, coming around to her side of the car. He rests his hand on the small of her back to lead her and they go up the stairs to his fifth-floor-walk-up. "Sorry about the mess" Bellamy says, rubbing the back of his neck, when he opens the door and lets her walk in. They walk into a U-shaped kitchen with a peninsula on one side, mismatched stools under it, that bleeds into the living room with a large couch and a big chair with a coffee table, and she can see a hallway off that where she assumes the bedrooms are.

She laughs a little, "You know it's not messy, right?" she says and he smirks at her. She leans one hand against the wall and takes her shoes off, losing about four inches in height as she throws the shoes in the corner. She goes to the peninsula and pulls one of the stools out to sit on, just about everything in the apartment is from a second-hand store or were hand-me-downs and he can't help the way his eyes flit around self-consciously. She doesn't seem to notice though, just sits and picks uncomfortably at her dress. He laughs, watching her try to get comfortable in the dress, looking completely out of place in the apartment and she looks at him quizzically, probably trying to figure out why he's staring at her. As if he could explain it.

"Do you want something else to wear?" he asks her and she hops off the stool, nodding.

"Yes! Thank you." He smiles and inclines his head down the hall so she'll follow him. They end up in his room and he goes to his closet and pulls out a pair of sweat pants and a thin long-sleeved shirt and hands them to her before turning around and going back to the living room. She changes clothes, folding her dress and leaving it on top of his dresser with her purse. She glances around the room; a book about Roman mythology in one corner, glasses that she's never seen him wear on his bedside table, a picture of him and Octavia when they were young on the dresser, even though she hasn't known him that long it all feels so quintessentially Bellamy that she smiles and pulls in a deep breath before opening the door.

She walks down the hallway slowly, looking at the pictures on the wall; Octavia and Bellamy at various ages at chronicled along the hallway and she laughs at a photo as Octavia as a cat for Halloween, Bellamy standing behind her in jeans and a leather jacket, mid-eye-roll. She can hear the Blake's talking at the end of the hallway, but can't quite make out what they're saying, when she gets to the end she hears 'it's a bad idea, O' before they notice her and she smiles softly.

They've both changed clothes as well, Octavia now in sleep shorts and a long-sleeved shirt with The Animaniacs on it and Bellamy in sweat pants and a band t-shirt. It's feels so comfortable and casual and she pulls the sleeves of the borrowed shirt over her fingers, feeling all at once like an intruder. Bellamy must sense the shift in her because he crosses over to her and puts his hand on her arm lightly. He tugs her, just a little, and she follows him into the kitchen where Octavia already is. She's pulling things out of the cabinets and out of the fridge and gathering them on the counter top and Bellamy just hoists himself onto the countertop of the peninsula and watches. Clarke moves with him, standing almost between his legs, and he puts one hand on her hip and the other on the countertop, his hold on her lose in case she wants to walk away. She doesn't.

If Bellamy is being honest, Clarke kind of scares the shit out of him. She's beautiful and she's smart and she's kind and she's good in ways that he knows he shouldn't want and doesn't deserve. He's not the good guy, and he knows this, made his peace with the fact that who he was and who he had to be so that him and Octavia could survive were different things a long time ago. He doesn't do relationships, has never even wanted to. But when Octavia almost drops a bottle of marinara sauce onto the counter but catches it just in time with an exaggerated flourish and Clarke looks over her shoulder at him and smiles, resting her hand over his on the countertop, he's hit with how much he wants her; with how much he wants to be good enough for her. He sighs, knows that he should walk away from it before either one of them gets any more invested, knows that's what a _good guy_ would do. But, he tightens his hand on her hip and noses at the place where her shoulder becomes her neck, enjoying the way her head falls back against his chest, and he just _can't_ not.

Octavia finally has everything she wants on the counter and turns to Bellamy, holding her hands out like the ingredients are a presentation, "Okay, you're up". Bellamy rolls his eyes and taps Clarke's hip lightly so that she moves just enough for him to jump down from the counter. He gives them both jobs and Clarke gets why he laughed at the idea of Octavia being the one who does the cooking, because while she boils water for the noodles and Clarke chops tomatoes, Bellamy does just about everything else.

A little while later, they are sitting on the couch with plates of chicken parmigiana and salad, watching Sixteen Candles ('It's my turn to pick, Bellamy, shut up'). For a long time, when they lived with their mother, a box set of Brat Pack DVD's were the only movies they had, and sometime Octavia still liked to revisit them. Somewhere towards the middle of the movie, Octavia stands and takes the three dirty plates and dumps them in the sink, coming back with a bottle of water and collapsing in the big chair, pulling the blanket off the back of it and curling into it. She says the words to the movie along with it and Clarke glances over at Bellamy just in time to see him roll his eyes. She laughs lightly enough that he is the only one who notices and he shakes his head and reaches out to pull her into him, her head on his shoulder and his arm lose around her, after a pause, his fingers trail absently up and down her arm and she sighs, content and happy.

Clarke falls asleep before Ted can ask Samantha if he can borrow her underpants for five minutes. She leans against his side, her head slipping from his shoulder to his chest, while he runs his fingers up and down her side in a gentle rhythm. He notices Octavia watching him out of the corner of her eye and makes a face at her. She laughs, turning around to watch the movie again. He understands why she's interested; he never brings girls to the apartment, never does anything but hookup and never wants to spend the night with them, preferring to slip out after once they've gone to sleep. And he almost never hooks up with the same girl more than once, he's not looking to lead anyone on and he's not looking for a relationship and that has always been true. But, when Clarke adjusts a little in her sleep, snuggling into him a little further, he reaches behind himself to pull the blanket off the back of the couch and unfolds in on to her, resting his chin on the top of her head for a long moment, trying to understand how she became a part of his life so quickly and without permission from him.

When the movie ends, Octavia turns off the TV and piles the blanket she had been using in the chair. She whispers a 'goodnight' and disappears down the hall. He debates for a moment, thinks about slipping out from under Clarke and lying her down so she can stay asleep, but worries that she might need to get home. So, he whispers her name and pulls back from her a little, her body follows his in sleep and he can't help but smile as he repeats her name. She blinks awake, looking up at him, confused for a moment as she places herself. "Hi Princess" he mumbles and chuckles when she punches his arm lightly, sitting up. "I uh, I wasn't sure if you had somewhere you have to be" he says, low and a little mumbled.

"What time is it?" she asks, rubbing at her eyes. Her hair is a mess, half out of the ponytail she'd pulled it in to when she'd sat in the kitchen at the Ark, falling around her face and her make up is a little smudged (it's probably on his shirt, he thinks idly). He almost hates that he still finds her beautiful. He shakes his wrist so that he can see his watch and then tells her that it's a little after midnight. She nods a little, "I can probably get a taxi" she says, shifting so that she can stand, but he puts his hand on her hip, pulling her back down to the couch.

"I can take you home, Princess" he says, a hint of amusement in his voice. "Or," he pauses to clear his throat "you can stay here, and I can give you a ride in the morning". She asks if he's sure a couple of time, tucking her hair behind her ear and looking up at him from under her eyelashes. He smirks at her when he nods and she blushes, turning her face into the couch trying to hide it. He lets it go, deciding against calling her on it, even though he wants to, standing up and holding his hand out to her instead. She slips her hand into his slowly, and he tugs her into a standing position. She pulls her bottom lip between her teeth and he thinks about kissing her, shakes the thought from his head before turning and leading her down the hall.

He stops at the threshold to his room, leaning against it, his hand moving to the small of her back to lead her inside. "You can uh," he rubs his open palm against the back of his neck, "you can sleep in here" he says and when she turns around to face him, her bottom lip is back in between her teeth. He reaches out, his palm against her cheek, and pulls her lips lightly with his thumb. She smiles, blushing again, and asks if he's sure. He chuckles a little and lets out a faux-exasperated sigh follows by a whispered "Yeah" she whispers a 'thank you' back and he can't actually help it when he leans forward and kisses her forehead lightly. She clutches his elbow when he does and he stays that way (her hand on his elbow, his lips pressed against her forehead) for a long moment, before he pushes back from her, "Goodnight, Princess" and turns to go back to the living room.

She takes her phone from her purse and sends a quick text to Wells _Won't be home tonight, don't worry – I'm fine. Will explain later. Xo._ and then sits on the bed in the middle of the room. She takes a minute to glance around the room again before pulling the drawstring on the light to cast the room in darkness and laying back, pulling the comforter around her shoulders.

* * *

The changing seasons brings weather extremes that Clarke loves. Wells is the one who got her interested in it he loved it so much that she used to joke that he would end up a meteorologist one day, but he just shook his head and told her that he didn't want to know too much about the science behind it, that knowing would ruin the magic, she'd rolled her eyes at the time, not understanding how knowing could ruin it. Thunder booms outside and Clarke blinks awake just in time to catch the power flicker around her. She pulls in a deep breath as she sits up, the thick blue comforter that had been around her shoulders falling into her lap. It takes her a moment to really remember where she is, but when she does she glances at the clock on the bedside table (almost 3 AM) and pulls her hair loose from its ponytail, most of it having already come undone anyway, dropping the band next to the clock and slipping out from under the blanket on the bed, padding over the window on the far side of the room. She pulls the cord to bring the blinds up and leans against the window ledge to look outside.

It's not raining hard, not yet at least, but it's enough to melt the little piles of snow left on the side of the road by shovels and plows. Lightening awakens the sky in big broad flashes instead of skinny bolts and Clarke smiles at the colors it creates in the sky. The accompanying thunder is still pretty faint, save the odd boom, but the clouds above them promise that this is only the beginning of the weather and she finds herself smiling.

Bellamy comes out of the bathroom and starts walking back to the living room. The power flashes and he pauses in his steps for a moment, willing it to stay on. It's not a cool as it was outside, but the low hum of the heat tells him that losing the power right then would still suck. And, he remembers, he's just been grocery shopping, and the thought of throwing all that food out is not appealing. After a long moment of the power staying on, he continues down the hall. As he passes his room, a flash of lightening catches his eye and he stops. Clarke is standing in front of the window, looking outside, her hair curly and wild and falling along her shoulders. He knows that she wasn't there when he passed down the hallway the first time and he wonders if he storms woke her, or if she'd been lying awake all night. He's struck by her, but he knows that he should go back to the living room. When his feet move, though, it's into the bedroom and not down the hall.

He steps up behind her and looks out the window, he doesn't touch her, but the feel of his breath on the back of her neck lets her know that he's there. She jumps a little in surprise at his sudden presence and then laughs at herself, her cheeks tinging pink in the darkness. He breaths out a "sorry" but she shakes her head a little and shoots him a smile. "Did the storm wake you?" he asks lowly. She nods, glancing back at him to ask if the storms woke him as well. He shrugs a little, "I don't usually sleep a lot" he says and she looks back at him again, concerned and curious. He can't stand the openness of her face or the worry in her eyes, so he leans in a little and presses his lips to the crown of her head, instead of saying anything. He hears her pull in a sharp breath and he worries that he's overstepped until she leans into him a little and fists the end of his shirt in her hand.

She flattens her hand out against his hip bone and pushes back from him slowly. He watches her take a few steps backwards before turning and sitting down on his bed. She's facing the window and she's pulls her legs up so she's sitting cross-legged and still watching the storm roll in. He's still for a moment before he crosses to the bed as well, sitting down and leaning back against the wall. She smiles when he sits, like she thought he might not, and he can't help but smile back at her. She leans back against the wall next to him pulls the comforter up so that it covers both of their legs. The power flashes again, only noticeable by the hum of the heat cutting out and back on, the flashing of the clock next to the bed, and the beep of the microwave barely audible from down the hall. Thunder crashes outside, the storm picking up, and Clarke jumps a little at the suddenness of it, then laughs lightly at herself. She glances down the hallway kind of absently, "Think Octavia is awake?"

Bellamy lets out a chuckle, "Nah" he answers easily and off Clarke's confused look adds "Octavia sleeps like the dead". Clarke laughs lightly and leans her head back against the wall. "When we were kids," he starts, his voice low and even, "she had crazy nightmares and would wake up at the slightest noise, but when we moved, it was like a switch flipped, and now she'll sleep through anything". He's never told anyone that before, and he should be shocked that he's telling her now, but in the dark, with Clarke's small laugh answering his story, he finds it easier than he thinks he should to talk to her. Her head lulls onto his shoulder and she doesn't ask for more of his story and he wonders if that's why he's willing to give it, "I used to read to her, to get her to go back to sleep. For the longest time, we only had a couple of books in the house and I think we both knew them by heart…" he trails off, looking out at the storm instead of at her. Her hand finds his on top of the blanket and she intertwines their fingers easily. His breath catches in his throat for a moment before it evens back out.

"I was in London when my dad died" she says at hardly above a whisper, "at school" she half shrugs, a motion he feels instead of sees, "but I have nightmares about it sometimes" she's quiet for a long moment, and he thinks that maybe she has told as much of her story as she wants to, but she clears her throat lightly and, "he died in a car crash, but that's never how it happens in my nightmares," she pauses and shakes her head a little, her hair moving against his neck and shoulder, like she's not sure how to explain what she's thinking. "Like, sometimes I dream that he drowned, and sometimes I dream that he was shot, and sometimes I dream that he's floating through space" she lets out a little humorless laugh at herself and he squeezes her hand lightly. "Wells says that I am trying to make sense of something doesn't make sense and that I feel guilty that I wasn't here when it happened." She pauses for a long moment, "But then, he only took one semester of psych, so what does he know?". She tilts her head up to look at him, like she's expecting answer, so he shrugs a little and says 'probably nothing' and she smiles, "Definitely nothing" and leans her head back against his shoulder.

* * *

She wakes up and can hardly see the clock from where she is, but blinks a few times to bring it to clarity instead of moving. It's just past seven, around the time she generally wakes up, but instead of stretching she burrows back down into the blankets. She feels Bellamy move a little behind her, his arm around her waist tightening while he mumbles something that she can't make out in his sleep and presses his nose into the back of her shoulder. She stays very still for a moment, not wanting to wake him, or startle him into moving away, before she relaxes into the embrace and lets her eyes fall closed again.

* * *

When he wakes, it's a slow process of coming back to himself. Clarke nuzzles her nose into his chest and he wonders if he should be bothered, but finds himself running his hand through her hair softly. He can't really remember the last time he woke up to someone in _his_ bed; when he hooks up, he generally leaves right after and he never does it at his apartment. It's a little past nine in the morning and the clouds have cleared enough to let the sun stream through the window, with the blinds still pulled up it bathes the room in pale yellow. He's facing the window and Clarke is facing him, her face pressed into his chest, so when he looks down, all he sees is her hair in a curly mess.

They lay like that for a while, her asleep with her face pressed into his chest, and his chin on top of her head, one hand playing in her hair. He thinks about getting up and going to the living room or kitchen, but he finds that he doesn't want to, and though he's not sure if it's a bad idea or not, he stays. When she starts to stir, he loosens his arm from around her and pulls his hand from her hair. She's got a faint smile on her lips when she tilts her head up to look at him and he smiles back and whispers a "Good morning", she whispers it back, looking up at him, her hand coming up to fist in the collar of his t-shirt.

His hand come up to her face before he really has time to think about it, just his fingertips grazing the apple of her cheek lightly, but she turns into it a bit and when she does he drops his head to kiss her. He doesn't really think about it before he does it, it feels like gravity – something that was going to happen with or without his permission, but it's nice; her hand slips away from his shirt to cradle the side of his neck and when he runs his tongue over her lips and she makes a noise in the back of her throat as she opens her mouth for him he finds himself glad that he didn't overthink it.

He presses forwards so that Clarke lies on her back and he's leaning over her. His weight is supported by his forearm over her head, while his other hand smooths over her cheek. She pulls him closer, one hand cradling his cheek while the other holds his opposite shoulder, using it to tug him closer to her. When he pulls back, acknowledging their mutual need to breath, he nips lightly at the skin of her neck, just behind her ear and when she lets out a small moan he drops his forehead into the crook of her neck and mouths idly at her clavicle. She arches her back a little, her breasts pressing against his chest and he moves his hand from her face to grip her hip, his thumb running over the hollow there.

He leans back a little, kissing her cheek as he does, then moves onto his back, pulling her with him. His arm loops around her and she rests her head on his chest, pressing a kiss to his shirt there before laying her head down. He wonders if she can hear the frantic pace of his heart beat from where she is. He twists his neck a little so that he can kiss the top of her head and whispers "Okay?" just to make sure.

He can hear the smile in her voice when she says "Okay". They talk in quiet voices about nothing in particular; movies and television shows, favorite book, and music. The conversation is interposed with kisses, one of them twisting to press their lips against the other. It's easy and Clarke doesn't feel the weight of expectation like she did with Finn.

After a bit, they hear Octavia shuffle down the hallway and to the kitchen so Bellamy kisses Clarke's temple lightly and pushes up into a sitting position and then stands, holding his hand out to pull her up once she takes it. They go out to the kitchen where Octavia is sitting at the table with a bowl of Lucky Charms, milk sloshing around in the bowl while she picks out marshmallows. "Eat the cereal part too, O" Bellamy says, his voice an interesting mix of exasperation and amused. "Hungry?" he asks Clarke, pulling a bottle of water out of the fridge and offering it to her. She shakes her head as she takes the water, whispering a 'thanks'. He nods as he pulls out a second water for himself.

Octavia asks her if she wants to hang out during the day, but she swallows a gulp of water and says that she should get home. She sees Bellamy tense a little out of the corner of her eye so she adds, "Wells is probably freaking out" and laughs a little. Bellamy nods and offers to give her a ride home, but still doesn't seem completely relaxed. After a little while she changes back into her dress, but pulls the long-sleeved shirt she slept in over it, she catches the look Bellamy gives her when she comes out of his room and smiles a little, tucking her hair behind her ear. When Bellamy asks her if she's ready Octavia hugs her dramatically before Clarke grabs her shoes, opting to carry them instead of wearing them and follows Bellamy out to his car. When they pull up to Wells' house, she asks for Bellamy's phone with a blush and he watches her text herself so they'll have each other's numbers and when he gives her a look she shrugs self-consciously and he kisses her lightly before she gets out of the car and goes inside. She hears his car pull out of the driveway after the door has closed behind her and Wells is giving her a knowing look from the living room couch.

* * *

Please Review!


	3. Coming Together and Falling Apart

A/N: sorry for the delay! I was on vacation that included less WiFi than advertised! Hope you enjoy!

* * *

Chapter Three: Coming Together and Falling Apart

* * *

They spend the spring together. He takes her mini-golfing, because she said she'd wanted to go when she was little, but her mom wouldn't take her. She hangs out a lot at Polis while he works, chatting with Miller and wiping down the bar when he's not looking. She helps him keep calm about Octavia's new six-years-older-than-her boyfriend and promises him that she'll help him look out for his little sister. When she tells him they story of Finn in his dark bedroom, and that he's the only person she's ever slept with, and that she doesn't want to rush to sex, he pulls her close and kisses the top of her head and whispers, "Nothing's happening that you don't want to happen, okay? We've got time". They have a picnic on the platform of his fire escape and watch the sunset from the roof, kissing as a shooting star passes overhead that night and she asks if she should make a wish. She starts spending a lot of free time at his apartment too, most of it with him, but sometimes with Octavia – sometimes he gets home from work in the middle of the night and her and Octavia are on the couch, junk food on the coffee table and their nails half painted.

* * *

She opens the door to Wells' house and stumbles in, trying not to drop any of her bags or the coffee she's balancing as she pulls the keys back out of the door and hurries to the table where she can drop everything. She hears Wells slow-clap dramatically when she makes it and rolls her eyes, "Yeah, don't help or anything, I got it" she says, her voice full of faux annoyance. She leaves her bags on the table and goes to the couch where Wells is siting. He closes his laptop and sets it on the coffee table, taking her Styrofoam coffee cup and stealing a sip before handing it back.

"Hey stranger" he says, his voice mocking. She rolls her eyes, but she can admit that she hasn't been around much lately. "How's things?" he asks, turning on the couch to face her.

She smiles, nods before she speaks, "Yeah, things are good.". They talk about little things, until he asks her how Bellamy is and she blushes a little and nods, "I like him" she says and giggles a little, blushing.

He asks her if they've had the 'dating conversation' and she rolls her eyes before she shakes her head, "I just worry about you" he says, "You tend to fall for people hard and fast, and if he's not as serious as you…" Wells watches her face carefully for reaction.

She thinks about lying with him on the couch in his apartment after his shift at Polis, when he's half asleep and rubbing her back lightly, the television on in the background. She thinks about telling him about her dad, and about how she was never close with her mom, thinks about him kissing her temple and whispering 'I'm sorry babe' his lips brushing her skin. She thinks about lying with him in the early morning before they get out of bed, him telling her about raising Octavia in whispered half-stories. She thinks about him laughing lightly at her when she tries to count his freckles one night, a little drunk and leaning against him. She thinks about going to a traveling carnival with him and Octavia, cotton candy melting in the heat and sticking to their fingers, him kissing her at the top of the Ferris Wheel. She shakes her head a little and smiles, "I think we're on the same page" she says quietly. It would feel weird, she thinks, to try to define what they are, when she feels like they both know.

* * *

Spring is just turning to summer, it's the first truly hot day, when Octavia wakes up late and calls off work. Her boss thinks that she's just blowing off work on a nice day, but she's pretty sure she has food poisoning. Her stomach hurts and so she just calls in and goes back to sleep. Bellamy makes her some soup and leaves it in the fridge. He asks her if she's good a couple of times before he leaves for his shift at the Ark. When he gets home after work, the soup is untouched in the kitchen and when he looks into Octavia's room she's sound asleep in the middle of the bed, cartoons playing lightly on the old black-and-white TV they picked up for free when Polis remodeled a few years back. He goes in and pulls the blankets a little tighter around her and touches her forehead, it's a little warm maybe, but nothing too bad. He leaves her a note to let her know he's out with Clarke and to call if she wakes up and needs anything. Octavia likes to be alone when she's sick though, so he doesn't expect to hear from her.

He and Clarke are at a free concert in the park when his phone rings. It's Raven, which is weird because with the exception of one drunken hookup before he knew that she knew his sister, they are not close. He answers, plugging his opposite ear with his finger so that he can hear her. Octavia is in the hospital with appendicitis. She gives him the address and Clarke rides with him, her hand on his thigh, just above his knee while he drives, agitated and worried.

When they walk in, they find Raven immediately. She tells them that Octavia had called her and she went over and saw her; burning up and puking and made her go to the hospital. They've already removed her appendix, she tells them and Bellamy stands stoic, but panicking, next to them. Clarke reaches out to him, her fingers skimming his arm, but he pulls away and to the nurse's station so that he can be taken to his sister.

* * *

He's been sitting in the chair by her bed for about an hour when she blinks awake. Well, sort of awake, she's on pain meds that make her loopy and she laughs at things like the tear in his shirt, along the seam of the sleeve. He mostly apologizes to her for not being there while she calls him silly and taps his cheek lightly with her palm until she falls back to sleep.

He spends the next hour or so thinking about why he wasn't there and why he didn't notice that what was wrong with his sister was worse than food poisoning. His whole life was about taking care of her, about making sure that she was okay, and in one of the most important moments of that he completely failed her. He thinks about Clarke, and he knows that it's not her fault, he knows that she didn't _make_ him lose focus on Octavia, but he knows that he did because of her. He thinks about the pink dress she wore when they went to dinner last week that probably costs more than he'll make all this year at Polis and he thinks about the house she grew up in, compared to the trailer he grew up in. It can't last between them, could never _really work_ and in the meantime, it's costing him his focus. Eventually, the rebelliousness that lead her to him will fade, and she'll be ready to settle down with a boy more _appropriate_ for her. He decides then that he needs to walk away from her.

When he goes back out to the lobby, Clarke and Raven are curled into seats, Raven asleep and Clarke on her way, while Jasper and Money play travel-sized Operation that _of course they brought to the fucking hospital_ a few seats away, and Lincoln is sitting in a chair near them, eyes trained on the wall in front of him. He clears his throat and Lincoln is in front of him almost instantly while Jasper and Money wake the girls and meet him. He tells them that O is fine, and that the doctors say he can take her home tomorrow, provided that someone can stay with her. They all volunteer for the job and his heart swells a little. He tells them to go home, and all but Lincoln and Clarke nod. Lincoln goes back to his chair and Clarke moves to him, wrapping her arms around his waist and he lets himself live in the embrace for a moment before he takes a half-step backwards. She looks up at him with big, confused eyes and he leads her away from the lobby with his hand on the small of her back.

"Clarke…" He starts then clears his throat, "I don't think…" he stops again, looking down at her and swallowing, "I think I have to stop" he says finally and her eyebrows draw together in confusion. He starts to say 'I think we should break up' but then they're not together, not technically (and that feels _crazy_ to him) so he swallows again and sighs, "I don't think we should see each other anymore" he says in just above a whisper and watches tears fill her eyes. He hates himself, in that moment, but also feels like he's saving them from going down a path that only leads in heart break, and he just can't let himself be so distracted by a girl.

She opens and closes her mouth a few times, reaching up to pull her hand across her cheek as tears start to fall. "Why?" she finally whispers and he can tell from the look on her face that she's trying to figure out what happened, how something could have changed so quickly. He knows that it's sudden and he hates the way his stomach twists at the sight of her tears.

"Clarke" he sighs out her name, "I just…this is never going to be anything". She pulls in a sharp breath and he wants (so badly) to reach out and pull her into him. Despite the fact that he's the one hurting her, he wants to be the one to make her feel better, and he knows exactly how fucked up that is. She just stands there, staring at him, for a long moment before she nods and finally (he can't take it anymore) and he walks away, leaving her in the hallway.

Clarke stands in the hallway, staring at the place Bellamy had been standing, for a while. She's not sure how long it's been when she pulls the back of her hand over her face and pulls in a deep breath and goes back to the lobby. Lincoln offers her a ride home, even while he stares down the hallway that Bellamy disappeared to, where Octavia is, but she smiles gratefully and shakes her head a little. "No, I'm okay. Will you tell 'Tavia that I'll call her tomorrow?" she asks and Lincoln nods and tells her that 'of course I will'.

It's dark outside when Clarke walks to the line of Taxi's in front of the hospital, later in the night than she thought it was. She pays the driver when they pull up to Wells' house and goes inside and upstairs to the bedrooms. He's laying down, she can see him from the hallway, in bed and reading. She goes into his room and kicks her shoes off and lays down next to him in bed, "I don't want to talk about it" she says as she situates herself and he nods before he kisses the crown of her head then goes back to his book.

About an hour and a half later, Wells has closed his book and left it on the bedside table, Clarke thinks that he is probably sleep, as she lays next to him, staring at the ceiling. She thinks about her mom, starting to travel again for work when Clarke was only four months old, being gone for weeks at a time to come home for a few days and lave again. She thinks about her ex-girlfriend, who she though understood her so well, walking away from her when a better offer came along. She thinks about the first boy she ever kissed, behind the monkey bars at prep school, who told everyone that she let him feel her up when she hadn't and then never spoke to her again. She thinks about her father, the only person to ever really get her, dying when she needed him to be there. She thinks about Wells letting her push him away for all the right reasons, but still not being there when she felt so alone. She thinks about the Finn who lied to her and took all her decision away from her before leaving her all alone. She thinks about Bellamy, who she was falling in love with, who she thought was falling in love with her, walking away from her like she was casual to him…maybe she had been casual to him – maybe when he tells the story she'll just be 'some girl', she feels her stomach twisting painfully as she wonders if Wells had been right to be worried about her falling in to deep and setting herself up for heart break. She pulls in a deep breath, and almost to herself, whispers "I just…I feel like I'm never enough to make anyone stay"

"Clarke…" Wells whispers, his voice sad and low. "You-"

"I still don't want to talk about it" she cuts him off and he chuckles, turning to wrap his arm around her.

"Okay. Then I'm not going to tell you that you're basically my sister and that I love you and that I'm not going anywhere" her breath catches a little in her throat and she nods against his chest, her tears soaking through his shirt.

* * *

Clarke calls Octavia the next day and they talk for a bit about how much surgery sucks. She's allowed to be out-and-about after 'eight to ten days, so they make plans to meet up on the ninth day. Clarke can hear Bellamy in the back ground ('what movie do you want next?') and she forces herself to keep chatting with Octavia. She texts with Octavia a lot in the following ten days, and she must know something about what happened with Bellamy because she never brings it up, never asks why Clarke doesn't visit the apartment.

She does try to talk to Bellamy in the week that follows Octavia's hospitalization. She calls him a few times (he never answers) and once shows up at the Ark while he's working. She'd gone to lunch and saw him out of the corner of her eye, refilling a water at a different table, before he'd disappeared in the kitchen. He never came back out. She thought about going in, making him talk to her, but it'd be an awful position to put him in at work and she doesn't want to _have_ to force him to talk to her. So, instead, she cuts her lunch short and goes outside to cry in her car before going home.

* * *

Clarke meets Octavia at Coffee Grounders on the ninth day and Raven tags along. They sit outside and drink iced tea, talking easily. Raven is in the middle of a story about almost blowing something up in her engineering class when Octavia waves her hand in the middle of the table and Clarke and Raven just stare at her until she sighs and looks at Clarke, "So, what the hell happened between you and my brother?"

Clarke opens and closes her mouth a few times and can feel the prick of tears gathering behind her wide sunglasses. She swallows and looks between Raven and Octavia, "Nothing…I…we just…nothing" she sputters.

Octavia is clearly about to ask again, to push the topic, but Raven puts her hand on the younger girl's wrist and shakes her head before putting a big smile on her face, "Okay…" Raven starts drawing out the 'a' to change the subject, "I'm thinking about taking an internship this summer, what do you think?" Raven says pulling a new subject out of the air. Clarke flashes her a grateful smile and Octavia huffs a little, annoyed at not getting the answers she wanted before going along with the subject change.

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	4. Parties

Chapter Four: Parties

* * *

It's been a little less than three weeks since Octavia's appendix was removed and sometimes it feels like forever ago to her. She comes in to the apartment from work and is kind of surprised to see Bellamy at the kitchen table, eating cereal from the box. "Oh, do you still live here?" she asks, teasing, reaching her hand in the cereal box and pulling back a handful, sitting across from Bellamy to eat while he rolls his eyes at her. He picked up a third job as an overnight janitor, a couple nights a week, to pay the hospital bill from her surgery. She feels awful about it and picks up every available shift at The Drop Ship so he won't feel like he has to stay there long. 'It's just temporary, O' he says whenever she brings it up.

She has tried asking him about Clarke a few times, but he always just shrugs her off, 'It didn't work out, O, what's the big deal?' and he'll sometimes leave the room to get away from the conversation, when she won't drop it. She really doesn't want to pry, but no one will tell her anything, and Lincoln thinks he saw Bellamy break up with Clarke at the hospital, which makes her think it could be her fault somehow and she hates that thought. She throws a piece of cereal at him, laughs when it bounces off his cheek and he picks it up and pops it in his mouth. "So, what happened with you and Clarke?" she asks and watches him tense up and shake his head. "Clarke won't tell me anything. And every time I bring it up she looks at me like I got her a puppy and then kicked it" she crosses her arms over her chest and glares at her brother. Bellamy closes his eyes, his head dropping, and she feels bad for asking even though she thinks someone should tell her something, "Bell, I just don't get it" she says, her voice softer, "I thought you really liked her"

Bellamy nods, "I did" he tells her, putting the box of cereal back on top of the fridge. He kisses the top of her head when he walks past her, "Go to bed, O" lingering in the air as his bedroom door swings shut.

* * *

Clarke flattens the front of her dress and touches her hair lightly before she sends Octavia a quick 'Happy Birthday, Party hardy :-)' text, pulls in a deep breath and goes inside. She walks down the foyer, to the living room and finds her mom on the couch, Kane behind her pouring a drink and handing to Abby. Her eyes narrow at Kane in question as her mother stands and pulls her into a hug. "I thought it would be nice to have Marcus here, maybe we could talk about establishing a foundation in your father's name". Clarke works hard at not rolling her eyes as she nods.

It's Octavia's birthday party and she feels badly about not attending the party that Jasper told her Bellamy is throwing at their apartment. But, it's also the anniversary of her father's death (well, it's a couple of weeks before the actual anniversary, but her mother will be out of town for that, naturally), and when her mom called and asked if she'd come over for dinner it felt like the right thing to do. She sits on the couch and takes the white wine that Kane offers her, sipping it as she watches them talk. A server that she thinks she recognizes from the Ark comes out and tells them that dinner is ready and the three of them make their way to the dining room, sitting at perfectly set place setting as salads are brought out. She asks for the pepper and her mom asks when she is going back to school.

She closes her eyes and blows out a long breath, "I don't know that I am" she says as she opens her eyes, "I don't think I want to go back to London" she says, even if in that moment, nothing sounds better than the distance it would put between them.

Abby looks relieved and Clarke can't figure out why until, "There are so many good medical schools here, Clarke. You could start Johns Hopkins next semester if I make a call. Or Columbia P&S if you want to stay in New York" her mom is half out of her seat, like she's going to call every medical school on the east coast right at this moment. Like Clarke didn't know about schools here until two minutes ago and that's why she didn't go back.

"Mom" she says and Abby doesn't seem to hear it, "Mom" she repeats louder and Abby turns to look at her. "If I go back to school, I don't think it will be for medicine" she says low and even while her mother's eyes slowly grow. She was never that close with Abby, but she'd wanted so badly for her daughter to be a doctor and Clarke didn't dislike the idea of helping people, so she figured it was kind of a win-win, but with her father's death weighting heavily on her, she doesn't want to follow her mother's path anymore.

"You've wanted to be a doctor your whole life" Abby says, her unblinking gaze never leaving Clarke. Clarke doesn't answer, just gives a little half-shrug that seems to infuriate Abby who stands, "Your father wanted that for you too" it's heavy and stagnate in the air, "He'd be disappointed in your not going back".

 _She lets go of the handle of her suite case and lets the wheels slide out from under it as it tumbles to the ground, too front heavy to stand straight up without her holding it. "I don't know" she says in answer to her father's question, "I'm not sure medicine is for me". She leaves her suite case in the middle of the hall and goes to the living room, pulling a candy cane off the tree and unwrapping it, breaking a piece off a popping it in her mouth._

" _It's only been one term" her father reminds her and she half shrugs non-committal and unsure. "Well, then, why don't you transfer?" Jake asks and she looks at him sharply; unsure and intrigued, "The University of the Arts in London isn't that far from your school now. You might even be able to keep your flat" he says and her eyes widen. She decides to finish out the year where she is and reelevate during her next break, excited that it feels like a whole new option is open to her. The knowledge that her father would be on her side regardless making her light and happy._

"I don't think he would be" she says and stands, leaving Kane and Abby in the dining room while she hides in a bathroom upstairs. She stays in there for longer than feels reasonable for her age before she starts to feel ridiculous and goes back downstairs. She freezes when she turns the corner to the dining room and Kane and Abby are mid-kiss by the table. Abby sees her and starts to talk but Clarke shakes her head and slams the door on her way to her car.

She's not stupid, she knew that Abby and Kane had started…something. She secretly wondered if it started before her dad died, but she wanted to give her mom the benefit of the doubt. But, they'd been arguing about what her father would want on the sort-of-anniversary of his death and she's kissing someone else in the kitchen they once shared. It felt wrong and like a betrayal, even though it might not technically be. She's about half way to Wells' when she remembers how disappointed Octavia looked when she told her that she didn't think she'd make the party, and she thinks about the box wrapped in pink paper that she'd planned to give her at dinner on Friday when she turns around.

The dinner with her mom hadn't been her only reason for wanting to skip the party, obviously she wanted to avoid Bellamy as well, but she could stand to be around her friends right now, and it is Octavia's birthday (well, technically, Octavia's birthday was three days ago, but Monty told her that Bellamy hadn't been able to get that off work, so they all pretended it was today), so she decides that putting in an appearance might be okay. Anger and hurt fuels her as she drives.

By the time she parks, her anger and indignation has turned to sadness, deep and gnawing in her stomach, and she just plans to hug Octavia and leave her gift before going back to Wells' and going to bed. Jasper sees her first and basically tackles her in a hug she doesn't see coming and she has to brace against the table next to her to keep from toppling over from. The kitchen table is piled with gifts, so she adds hers to the stack and smiles at Octavia as she walks over, attracted by the sound of Jasper tackling her. She hugs Octavia tightly and whispers "Happy birthday" in her ear. Octavia tries to argue when Clarke tells her that she's going to go home, but she must notice something in her, because she gives in easily and they promise to see each other soon.

When Clarke is turning to leave, Bellamy catches her eye. He's sitting on the counter, a beer hanging loosely from his fingers, his other hand supporting his weight. He is in mid conversation with Miller and a brunette girl that Clarke doesn't know is standing between his legs. The girl's hand is on his thigh and her lips are on his neck and she feels tears pool in her eyes faster than she can blink them away. She knows that she hasn't the right to her anger; they weren't together, but he still broke up with her long before this moment he is free and clear to do whatever the hell he wants, but that knowledge only leaves her with her sadness and she lets out a shaky breath before she turns. She hears Octavia call her name, but she just shakes her head as she pushes out of the apartment. She waits outside by her car for a few seconds, feeling ridiculous, to see if he's going to follow her (it plays out like a movie in her head, him chasing her dramatically down the stairs) but he doesn't and she leaves alone and sad and wishing he didn't affect her anymore.

Bellamy sees her a fraction of a second after she sees him and he grips the edge of the counter top tight enough for it to sting his palm a little to keep himself from going to her. She looks beautiful, a dress far too formal for his apartment, the ghost of a smile for Octavia fading from her face as she takes in Echo standing between his legs. She turns and runs out of his apartment and he grips Echo's hip tight to keep from running after her, but she misinterprets it and grinds against him, he pushes her lightly and hops down from the counter, goes to the bathroom and throws up.

* * *

It's just cool enough outside that Clarke is wearing a long-sleeved shirt with her skirt as they make their way through the bleachers. Octavia got ten tickets for her graduation, and was nice enough to give Clarke two so she wouldn't sit alone and she pulls Wells behind her, looking for a good spot. She sees Bellamy sitting with Lincoln, both men staring straight ahead neither speaking, on the end of the last set of bleachers and stops before they get any closer, sitting on the opposite end of the middle set of bleachers. She hears her name and glances around a little until she sees Raven, pulling a scruffy looking guy she introduces as Wick behind her and they settle in the row behind her. She catches Jasper and Monty going up to Bellamy out of the corner of her eye and notices at the last moment that Harper is with them, her hand in Monty's, and smiles.

She knows that she is going to have to see Bellamy, they are all going to dinner to celebrate after this, but she doesn't want to do so any sooner than she has to. She'd thought about not going to the dinner, but when Octavia asked her, all big eyes and pleading tone and 'I understand if you can't, cause of Bell' she hadn't the heart to say no. And, she reasoned, having friends in common meant that this kind of thing was going to come up, she'd have to get over it at some point.

The ceremony takes forever, but with Raven's running commentary behind her and Wells digging his elbow into her ribs to quiet her laughter, it doesn't feel so bad. Octavia throws her cap in the air with the rest of the graduates and Clarke chances a look at Bellamy who is standing and watching his sister with awe. When it's over, they all make their way over to where Bellamy is sitting, Octavia is already alternating between shoving her diploma in Bellamy's face and hugging him tightly. Clarke likes Lincoln a lot, but she thinks idly that it might be the first time she's ever seen him really smile. Octavia gives a little shriek when she notices them walking up, right in Bellamy's ear, and grabs Raven's hands, jumping up and down while Raven pretends to be annoyed before hugging Clarke and whispering "Thanks for coming" in her ear and hugging Wells. She's still got her arms around Wells when "Wait, I don't know you" and she pulls back. Clarke laughs, introducing Wells to the group, Raven following with Wick.

They go to an arcade after. Octavia told her that she picked it because Bellamy used to save for months when a special occasion was coming up so that they could go and it's one of her favorite memories. This time, Bellamy has rented out a room in the back and everyone drops their stuff there before going to the counter to exchange cash for tokens to play with. Clarke makes avoiding Bellamy a top priority, and she's really pretty good at it; she beats Jasper at Skee Ball and Monty beats her at a basketball game, her and Lincoln both crash their virtual cars while racing and Wells lets her take out all her frustration on a game of Whack-A-Mole where she hits the moles on both sides of the playing board. She's coming out of the bathroom at the same time as him, both feeding into the narrow hallway that will lead them back to the games, and that is where her priorities fail her.

She rubs her hands on her thighs and her eyes dart around, "Hey" she says, they're too close together to pretend not to see each other and there's no going back now.

"Hey" he says back, lets his eyes wash over her and she tries not to squirm under his stare.

She clears her throat lightly, "Congratulations" she says and his eyes furrow together in question, "I know how important it was to you that Octavia graduate" she explains and she almost hates the way his eyes soften, the way he reaches out and lets his fingers graze the skin of her arm, just above her elbow before he can think better of it. She closes her eyes for a moment, pulls in a deep breath and breaths out his name. He's opening his mouth to say something when her name being called from the other side of the room demands their attention. Harper is calling for her, pointing excitedly to an Air Hockey table and she gives her a thumbs-up to let her know she is on her way. When she looks back at Bellamy, she knows the moment has passed, he already looks more composed and he mumbles a 'good luck' as he walks away.

* * *

When the actual anniversary of her father's death comes, she wakes up late and stumbles towards the kitchen for coffee, her eyes already a little red. She has to do a double take when she passes the living room, because Wells, Octavia, and Raven are sitting on the couch, the Netflix home screen lighting up the television. She stands in the entryway until Wells sees her and tilts his head so she'll come in. They spend all day watching Netflix and order pizza halfway through the day. Clarke loves that she isn't alone.

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	5. The End Of The Beginning

Chapter Five: The End Of The Beginning

When she moved into her flat in London, Wells was only there for a couple of days and mostly only to help her father with the heavy lifting. The plan had been for her to stay in London for half of her summer break and for Wells to come explore the city with her, but after her father died and she fought with Wells, nothing happened like it was supposed to. Wells reminds her of his 'missed opportunity to see a foreign land' in an exaggerated pleading tone as he shoves his laptop into her hands. U2 is playing The O2 Arena in London that week, and Wells very much wants to go. She laughs when she nods, needing very little convincing. They book a flight and a hotel in London and she feel every bit the spoiled princess that Bellamy once accused her of being but tries to shake the thought from her head.

She invites Octavia, but she says she doesn't want to miss the work, Clarke suspects that it has more to do with not wanting to have an experience so big without Bellamy, but didn't say anything; just promises that the invitation will stand next time and that she'd bring her a t-shirt. So, when her and Wells land, she takes a selfie in front of the Heathrow sign and sends it to her with a 'wish you were here!'. Octavia sends back the tongue-sticking-out emoji. The concert is the next day, so they meet up with her friends from school, Anya and Roan, at a pub they used to frequent that night. Roan brings Clarke's ex-girlfriend, Lexa, and she whispers 'you're still kind of a dick' in his ear when they hug and he pulls away with a hearty laugh. She smiles politely at Lexa and gives her a little nod, but doesn't move to hug her – Lexa betrayed her, played on her insecurities and left her all while trying to convince her that it was the most practical option – that she would have made the same choice, and she's not sure she'll ever get past that.

They spend the whole next day being tourists. She buys Octavia a red plastic telephone booth keychain that feels cheap and fragile in her hand, but seems just cheesy enough for Octavia to like. She picks up a magnet of The London Bridge, mid-opening, at the same shop. Wells asks her who it's for but she just shakes her head while she pays for it – Bellamy told her once, while they watched a documentary of its construction on his couch, that it was supposed to be good luck to see it open. She knows that it's ridiculous to be buying something that she'll never give him, knows she shouldn't be thinking of him at all, but she can't really help it either. She's only seen him once since Octavia's graduation party; she'd gone to the Ark for her mother's engagement party and he'd walked past her several times without ever even glancing at her. She'd gone home and cried that night.

The concert is, of course, amazing. They end up with pretty good seats but they stand the whole time anyway. On the way out, she does buy Octavia a t-shirt. She picks up little things for Lincoln, Monty, Jasper, and Harper too, smiles when the cashier hands her the bag, thinks about how she's never really had people to buy for before and can't help but be happy she has that now.

* * *

It's about six in the evening in NY when they get on their return flight in London, they've already set their watches back to NY time, "To fight jet lag" Wells had reasoned, pushing Clarke a little when she laughed. Clarke texts the flight number to Octavia (she loves to use the flight tracker thing on the website) and tells her for the fourteenth time that she doesn't need a ride when she lands. It's going to be almost one in NY when they land and she doesn't want Octavia to worry about picking her up that late.

Most of the flight is fine, but around hour six they hit what they think is turbulence. Wells spills his mini-sized water bottle on himself and Clarke laughs, handing him some tissues. They hit another big bump and the Captain's voice, garbled by the radio, fills the cabin "This is your Captain speaking, we are having some issues with the hydraulics and may have to divert our landing. Flight attendants will be around with more information". The woman in the seat behind her starts crying almost immediately and Clarke looks over at Wells with big eyes.

Things happen pretty quickly after that. About half of the flight attendants seem responsible for keeping people calm while the rest bustle about and check on things. The landing isn't even bad, really, except for that it happens in Rhode Island; the back end of the plane hops along the runway a couple of times before settling and skidding to a stop with the rest of the plane. Security personal stand at the end of the rolling staircase they pull up to the plane and check ID's and passports as they deplane everyone and send them to waiting rooms, separated based on their passports, set aside for them in the airport. Clarke turns on her phone while they wait for information; four missed calls from her mother, eight missed calls from Octavia, 19 text messages from Octavia. She checks Octavia's texts first; they start out simple, a screen shot of the flight tracker app with 'You're over the Atlantic right now, see you soon' typed under it, but then 'is everything okay, it says your delayed' and later 'It says your landing somewhere else, WTF?' and 'Bell called the airline, they said you have to do an emergency landing' and the last one 'are you okay?'. Octavia picks up on the first ring and Clarke promises that she's okay, promising to explain the next day. She calls her mom without listening to her voicemail's first and she picks up on the fourth ring, Abby says she's going to drive up and get her but Clarke shakes her head when she says "no thanks" even though her mom can't see her. "I think…I think we might just get a hotel here and come home tomorrow, I don't know" she says even though she can hear Wells on the phone with his father and knows that Thelonious has already sent a driver who is almost at the airport.

An employee comes into the waiting room and apologizes for the landing. They've gathered their luggage and are offering hotel rooms for the night for anyone who wants to fly into NY in the morning. Loved ones who heard about what happened and came to the airport are in the next room over, with the luggage. Some people stay behind to yell at the employee but most make their way over to the room with their luggage. There is a man in the room with a sign that says 'Jaha, Wells' and Wells gives him a little wave and a sigh as he shoulders his duffel bag and continues trying to convince Clarke to ride back with him. She's not even really sure why she's hesitant, for some reason she just doesn't want to, but in the end, it'd be silly for her to rent a car and drive back herself the next day (what she wants to do) so she grabs her own duffel from the pile and turns to tell Wells that she'll go with him.

But, when she turns, she catches sight of him, towards the back of the crowd, eyes darting around wildly while the rest of him looks calm and still. His whole body deflates a little at the sight of her, relief letting his tension drain and she's so shocked to see him that it takes Wells asking her what the fuck she is staring at before she points silently at Bellamy. "Maybe you don't need that ride" Wells says in a teasing voice, pulling her close to him, "you want me to wait?" he waits for her to whisper 'I'm good' before he pulls back, kisses her temple and walks away with the driver his father sent.

She can't make herself move, can't get out of the stare she's trapped in with him, so she's both glad and terrified when he crosses to her. He puts his hands on the sides of her face and just stares at her until she reaches up to hold his wrists and he pulls her all the way into him, one arm around her waist and the other around her shoulders. He holds her tight until she whispers, "What are you doing here?" into his shoulder and he pulls back enough to look at her.

"O was doing that stupid flight tracker thing and started freaking out when they diverted you. I called the airline and they said they were going to land you here because of mechanical failure, but didn't know if the landing gear would work" he sounds out of breath the whole time he's talking and she starts to respond, but people are still pushing all around the room, so he moves a little further away from her, holding her by just her hand now, taking her duffel bag in his other hand and leading her outside.

"It's three hours" she says once they are outside and he turns to look at her quizzically, leaning against the concrete wall of the airport parking lot. She stops in front of him and he slides his hand from hers up her shoulder and to her face, "From home to here, it's like three hours" she clarifies and he just nods a little, rubbing his thumb in slow soft circles under her eye and looking at her. "Why did you…?"

He sets her duffel bag down and pulls her close to him again, kissing the crown of her head and burying his face in her hair, pulling in a deep breath. She breathes out his name and he tightens around her, his fingers dig into her hip and her hair and he cradles her head to his chest like he's afraid she's going to disappear and she swallows thickly, holding him the same way. She hears him swallow after a moment and he pulls back enough to see her, whispers "Can I take you home?".

She thinks about her mother, home with Marcus and then of Wells' house that will surely be empty, Wells almost definitely going to Thelonious' house and shakes her head no. His face falls, his whole-body deflating and his eyes not meeting hers anymore. She smiles sadly and puts her palm on his cheek so he'll look at her again, "You can take me anywhere else" she says quietly.

The car ride is mostly quiet, he holds her hand over the center console the entire way. He rolls his eyes at her radio picks, but he keeps letting her pick. It was almost three by the time they were let to leave the airport so the roads seem almost abandoned, they make the drive in a little over two hours. When they're back in town, Clarke looks at the clock on the dashboard, "You have to work in like four hours, you shouldn't have driven all that way"

"I called off, it's fine" he says it casually, like it's not a big deal, but Clarke knows better – it's a huge deal. Bellamy never calls off, Octavia complains about it all the time. Clarke doesn't know what to say, so she just nods and after a moment, realizes that they're headed to his apartment. He must notice that she's figured it out because he looks at her out of the corner of his eye, "Okay?" he asks, his voice betraying his nerves, "We could go someplace -"

"Okay" she cuts him off with a nod.

* * *

When he nudges the apartment door open, Octavia pushes past him to hug Clarke. Clarke almost loses her balance, swaying a bit on her feet before righting herself and wrapping her arms around Octavia. Octavia whispers words that Bellamy can't hear into Clarke's ear and Clarke just nods. Bellamy sees tears form in the corner of Clarke's eye and presses his lips together. When Octavia takes a step back from Clarke, she wraps her arms around herself and he flexes his fingers on the small of her back, just to let her know that he's still there, she leans into his hand a little and he tries to hide a small smile. The three of them shuffle in an awkward silence until Octavia blows out a long breath, "Do you want to take a shower?" she asks Clarke.

"That'd be great" Clarke says with a small sigh. Clarke feels disgusting; airport and plane germs coating her body.

Octavia nods, "Do you need to borrow clothes, or…" she trails off, pointing to Clarke's duffle, sitting by Bellamy's feet.

"Do you mind?" Clarke asks quietly, "All my stuff is dirty." She breathes out a little laugh and Octavia nods, turning down the hall. Clarke goes to follow her, but she feels Bellamy's fingers tighten in the fabric of her shirt at the small of her back and she turns to face him instead, he touches her cheek and then her shoulder before his hand settles on her hip. She looks at him quizzically for a moment before it dawns on her that he has been touching her in one way or another since he walked up to her in the airport waiting room. She smiles sadly at him and wraps her arms around him, standing in his space to press against him.

His arms fold around her easily and she wonders what the airline told him about the mechanical problems of the plane or about the diverted landing. Did he know that she never really felt like she was in danger? He splays his fingers across her back and sighs into her hair, "Just making sure you're here" he says it light and easy, a little lilt to his voice to make it seem like he's teasing, but she nods against his shoulder and mumbles 'I am here' anyway. When they hear Octavia coming back down the hall, Bellamy takes a half step back, tucking her hair behind her ear as he does. She smiles at him before she takes the clothes Octavia offers and disappears into the bathroom.

When she gets out of the shower she twists her wet hair into a braid down the middle of her head and puts on the shorts and t-shirt that Octavia gave her. The day is catching up to her and all the sudden she is exhausted. She steps into the hallway and hears voices in the kitchen, she starts to walk that way, right before the end of the hall way she hears Octavia's voice, garbled and low with words she can't make out, followed by Bellamy sighing heavily and 'Yeah, O, I know'. Clarke closes her eyes, whatever they're talking about sounds serious and she doesn't want to interrupt. She kind of just wants to sleep, so she turns back down the hall. She goes into Bellamy's room and texts Wells and her mother, telling both of them that she is fine and back in town before turning her phone off and siting on his bed for a long moment before laying back and staring at the ceiling.

She's not sure how long she lays there in the quiet, but it's a while. When the cracked door inches open, she rubs the back of her hand over her eyes and sits, finding herself staring at Bellamy. "Sorry" he mumbles, coming into the room and closing the door behind himself. Off her raised eyebrows he adds, "for waking you" and she nods. She starts to tell him that she hadn't been sleeping, but he turns away from her to the window and cracks it to let some air in and then pulls the cord on the blinds so that room is pitched into darkness. "I'll just…" she blinks to adjust her eyes and they clear just in time to see him pointing out towards the rest of the apartment and she reaches her hand out to grab his.

She drops his hand as quickly as she grabbed it and looks up at him from the bed. She pulls in a deep breath and looks down at the grey blanket, frayed at the edges, that she's sitting on and whispers "Stay". Bellamy's breath catches in his throat before he nods a little and sits next to her on the bed, watching her. She dunks her head a little, more self-conscious than she'd like to be, "I know there's a lot we need to talk about and a lot unresolved, but can you just stay, I mean…can we do that part tomorrow?" she asks, not quite meeting his eyes. They're still for a moment before he puts his hand on her shoulder and then moves under the blanket and waits for her to do the same. He waits until she's sitting under the blanket to lay back and when he does he gives her all the space he can, so that she can decide how close to him she wants to be. She lays back towards the middle of the bed and swallows thickly when she reaches over and pulls him to her, pushing her face into his chest and sniffling a little when his hand finds her hair.

She falls asleep quickly, the events of the day and the time catching up with her. Bellamy lays there, his hand in her hair, her knee slotting through his thighs, for a long while before glancing at the clock to see that it's five in the morning and dozing off. He's woken, not long later, with a start. Clarke is sitting up in bed, clutching a handful of his shirt and breathing heavily. He props himself up on his elbows and runs his hand along her back a couple times before moving his hand to hers on his stomach and pulling her fingers out of the fabric of his t-shirt and into his hand. He's tempted to pull her back down, but instead he waits for her to be ready to lay back down. She pulls in a deep breath and whispers 'I'm sorry' into the room and he squeezes her hand softly and whispers 'don't be'. She starts to turn towards him and he flattens back out on the bed, letting his arms go out to his sides. She lays her head in his chest and taps her fingers against hip bone lightly in time with his heart beat. He kisses the side of her head lightly and rubs her back, whispering soothing nonsensical words until she falls back to sleep.

When he wakes up again, he's alone. For a moment, he's sure that Clarke has come to her senses and left, that he'll never see her again. But then he hears Octavia laugh loudly from down the hall and Clarke shush her and he smiles a little despite himself. It's almost ten, none of them have really gotten _enough_ sleep, but he stands up and rubs his hand over his face before going to the bathroom and brushing his teeth and going out to the kitchen where Clarke is sliding a pancake onto Octavia's waiting plate. He leans against the wall and watches until Octavia notices and smiles, "Morning, Bell" around a mouthful of pancakes.

Clarke looks over at him with cheeks that are starting to tinge pink, "Hey" she says quietly. She gestures around to where she's made breakfast, "I hope you don't mind…"

He smiles and half-shrugs, "Mind? It's nice to be not be the only one using the kitchen" he says and Octavia sticks her tongue out ah him and he chuckles softly, sitting on the bar stool next to her. Clarke slides a plate in front of him with two pancakes on it and he catches her wrist as she turns back to the stove. He holds it, just for a minute, just until she nods at him with a soft smile, then she turns back to the stove and makes a pancake for herself, putting it on a plate and coming around the island to sit next to him and eat. He sits, between Clarke and Octavia, and smiles into his pancakes.

The three of them make easy, mindless conversation, until Octavia looks at the clock and mumbles a "shit", folding the rest of her pancake into her mouth and tossing the plate in the sink before she hops into her shoes and swallows her food before stepping over to Clarke. "I got work" Octavia explains before she kisses her cheek and whispers "I'm glad you're here" in her ear and waits for Clarke to nod before shoving her phone in her back pocket and saying "See ya"

"You need the car?" Bellamy asks, looking at the clock – it's too late for her to make it on the subway.

"Lincoln is out front, he's going to give me a ride." She pauses for a moment, "I wasn't sure if you'd need the car" she says and glances at Clarke. Her cell phone pings her pocket and she pulls it out, facing the screen towards him even though he can't see it and "Lincoln" she explains before tucking it back in her pocket. "Kay, bye" she says and leave, the door swinging shut behind her.

The two of them finish their pancakes in almost-silence. It's a little awkward, so after Bellamy eats, he stands and starts washing dishes in the sink. Clarke watches him for a long moment, still pushing half a pancake around on her plate before, "I was going to do that"

"Yeah" he answers, grabbing the spatula, "but, you cooked." He drops the clean utensil in the dish strainer and grabs the skillet, "Far is fair" he adds, not quite meeting her eyes. He finishes the dishes and turns, leaning against the counter to watch her pick at her finger nails, "Do you have to get home, or…" he trails off and swallows, "If you want, there's someplace I want to take you" he says it quiet and unsure and it's the most insecure Clarke has ever seen him look.

She slides of her stool and walks around the peninsula, standing in front of him to ask, "Where do you want to go?" He looks both relived and terrified that she agreed to go with him and she leans forward, tilting her forehead against his chest for a moment, before taking a step back.

* * *

The drive is quiet, but he's fidgety, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel; she's pretty sure he doesn't realize he's doing it. They've been driving for almost an hour for Clarke finally asks, "Where are we going?" in a low, quiet voice.

He glances over at her, "We're almost there" and Clarke nods at the half-answer. When he turns back to the road she can see how tense he is, it doesn't feel like it's directed at her, he just seems nervous, though Clarke isn't sure why. She reaches over and touches his elbow, just lightly, and then leaves her hand on the center console. A minute or so later, he reaches over and takes her hand and she smiles out the window, wrapping her fingers around his.

* * *

They park in a public lot by a sandy stretch of beach, almost hidden by a huge rock formation. He glances over at her before getting out of the car. She gets out and walks around the car to him, he pulls in a deep breath before he smiles shakily at her and takes her hand, pulling her onto the sand. The stretch of beach is pretty deserted, so they settle by the rocks that cast the area into shade. After they sit, Clarke toes her shoes off and looks at Bellamy. He is staring out over the water, his face is hard but his thumb is on her palm, tracing slow soft circles, so she just waits by him.

After a long moment, he pulls in a deep breath and brings his hand back to himself. The feeling of his skin leaving hers makes her look over at him, but he keeps staring out at the water, "I was Seven when O was born. Mom had her in the living room, 'cause she refused to go to the hospital, and right after she was born, my mom handed her to me and told me that she was my sister and that I should name her, because she was going to be my responsibility". She breathes out his name, but he just nods a little, more to himself than to her. She wants to reach out and touch him, to give him the comfort that physical contact can provide, but the way he hasn't looked at her at all makes her question if that would be welcome.

"Octavia's father was gone for the first few months after she was born, and my mom, she really started to get better. I really thought…" he trails off and clears his throat, "But, he came back, and she let him, and he brought the drugs back with him." He's quite for a long moment, like he's trapped in a memory, and Clarke does reach out this time, can't help herself; she touches just her fingertips to the top of his hand, he leans against the rocks behind them, and he closes his eyes, lifts his fingers to pull hers in between them and Clarke smiles softly to herself. "For a long time, I could keep Octavia away from all of that; the drugs and the fights and the abuse, I could just…" he trails off again, clears his throat, "But, as she got older…a few days after her twelfth birthday one of the guys that was always at the house, I think he ran drugs, tried to…" he trails off, closes his eyes for a moment, "The next day, I brought my mom out here and told her that she had to get her shit together, that she had to leave him, that we had to go"

"She tried, Clarke, she really did" her name is the only indication that he gives that he's talking to her instead of just telling the story as he looks out over the water and she squeezes his fingers lightly, "She was a good person, she just…couldn't…" he shakes his head, "So I told her that I was going to take O and leave, and she didn't even fight me on it, and that's how I knew it would never really change." He glances over at Clarke and his eyes are watery with tears he won't let fall, "I'm not even sure where she is now, if she's…". He's never told this story before, never said the words out loud, never thought the person he'd tell it to was Clarke. "I knew Miller from middle school and he got me the job at Polis, we lived out of that car for about two months, until I could get the apartment" She scoots closer to him and leans her head against his shoulder, wants him to know that she's there for him, and doesn't think it's the right time for her to speak. "After that, I focused so much on making sure Octavia was okay, that our past wouldn't dictate her future"

It's quite and still for a long moment, he wraps his arm around her shoulders and they both look out at the water. "When Octavia got sick, I felt like I didn't notice because I let myself be distracted, or lax, or whatever" he says. She can feel the rumble in his chest, can feel the deep breath he pulls in and the way his heart is beating faster than normal, "I always thought that if I let myself relax, or be happy, that everything would come crashing down around me, and then O got sick, and if felt like proof, like a warning or something"

She nods a little against his shoulder and pulls in a deep breath, "I wish you would have talked to me about it, instead of…" she trails off because she can feel him nod a little against the top of her head.

"Yeah, me too" he says. "I just…I didn't know how to do that".

It's her turn to nod, "I know" she whispers. And she does, she can understand how ingrained the need to keep Octavia safe is for Bellamy. And, Octavia told her once that she was closest she'd ever seen Bellamy get to someone, so she knows that he doesn't let people in very often, "I know, Bell" she whispers again and feels his arm tighten around her shoulders.

They stand after a while and Bellamy pulls Clarke into him, wrapping his arms around her. He pulls back enough to look at her and trails his fingertips along her jaw line before dunking his head down to kiss her. She wraps her hand around the back of his neck and pulls herself on her tip-toes to return the kiss. They pull back, just enough to breath, and his lips brush hers when he speaks, "I love you" he mumbles against her lips, looks surprised at his own words, "And I'm sorry, that I don't really know how to do that". Her vision starts to swim with tears, and she opens her mouth to speak, but he kisses her softly instead, "You don't have to say anything right now, I don't want…" he swallows and she threads her fingers through the short hair at the back of his neck, "I just wanted you to know that". She can feel the way his hand shakes a little in her hair, can hear the nervous uncertainty in his voice, so she nods and pushes back up to her tip-toes to kiss him again.

* * *

The drive back is a different kind of quiet, and it's peppered with observation about what they see on the drive. About half way back Octavia texts Bellamy to ask if he and Clarke want to meet her and Lincoln for dinner when she gets off of work, she adds in a second text that he's only invited if he fixed things with Clarke and she's coming. Bellamy chuckles when he hands he phone to Clarke so she can see the text. She laughs lightly and when he asks her if she wants to go, she nods and whispers "Sure".

* * *

It's been about two weeks since the day on the beach and Clarke is sitting on the couch in Bellamy's apartment while Octavia is in the big arm chair next to her. Bellamy comes out of the kitchen with plates of tacos and sets them on the coffee table. He kisses Clarke's temple as he settles in next to her and she smiles, leaning into it. It's Bellamy's turn to pick, so they're watching a documentary on Netflix and Octavia mumbles something about him being a-hundred-and-nine years old as he pulls up the queue. Clarke mumbles 'such a nerd' under her breath, with a big smile and he punches her leg lightly before kissing her and settling back in the couch, pulling her legs onto his lap and running his hand absently over them while they watch and eat.

Over the past couple of weeks, Clarke has learned that when Bellamy loves someone, he puts everything he has into it. He's sweet and more affectionate than she thought he'd be. She'd had a taste of it when they'd been together the first time, but it was nothing like it was now. There is a new, deeper, level of trust and love that coats every interaction they have. Clarke feels more loved and more at peace than she ever has before. When the movie ends Octavia washes the dishes, and disappears in her room before Bellamy closes Netflix and turns the TV off then stands, reaching his hand down to Clarke then pulling her up when she puts her hands in his.

She kisses him when he pulls her up and he laughs a little into her mouth, caught off guard by the suddenness of it. She flattens her feet on the floor and loses a couple inches of height, looking up at him. She smiles and plays with the curly hair falling into his eyes for a moment before sliding her hand to the back of his neck, her other hand on his chest, "You alright, babe?" he asks, leaning down to kiss her lightly.

She smiles and nods a little, "I love you" she says, surprised by how easy it feels to say. She can feel his heart rate pick up under her palm and his fingers tighten on her hip. Neither of them have said it since that day on the beach and she can feel his surprise at her saying it now. He breathes out her name, a little tense and she can see the almost pained look that crosses his features. She knows that he struggles with feeling like he has enough to offer her, and she strives to remind him all the time that he is who she wants. She gives him a small smile and moves her hand from his hair to his cheek, running her thumb over the smile line by his mouth and whispering it again, "I love you, Bell".

He leans down and kisses her softly and leans his forehead against hers when he pulls back, "I love you, too" he whispers back, kissing her again.

* * *

Thanks for taking this journey with me and a special thanks to everyone who reviewed along the way.

Please review :-)


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